The Pimp Slap

Who's goin'? Anyone up for FANDOM LUNCH or something?

BoingBoing pretty much summed it up:

Stolen from ivychan
A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
B. Tag three people to do the same. Mmm sure.
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it." whatevars.

(1) I eat practically everything with my hands. This grosses out some of my friends.
(2) I hate throwing clothes away. I feel like I can get more uses out of them and will save them, no matter how destroyed they are. I blame this on reading too many Little House On The Prairie books when I was a child.
(3) I have had sex with more girls than guys, but I am only superficially sexually attracted to women, and I am always dominant with females, although I am submissive in my heterosexual relationship. I have never considered dating or having any sort of meaningful relationship with any woman I've ever met.
(4) I loathe cooking and cleaning and would rather pay someone else to do it than do it myself.
(5) I am extremely quiet and reclusive. I do not like living with any other people because I do not like others in my personal space, and I get very anxious if I do not have enough private time to myself.
(6) My boyfriend and I have an open relationship and are into lifestyle BSDM, but we don't consider ourselves part of any community and don't care to associate with those people in general. I also don't go around wearing collars and shit. I just do what I'm told. Sometimes I'm mouthy :) I also am not into actively dating others, while he is. And somehow, our friends all believe that we have the best relationship ever. They are right :)
(7) I will not eat things that have sweet and salty flavors combined. I find them disgusting and will not eat them. This includes fruit with cottage cheese, chocolate covered pretzels, pineapple and ham pizza, cheese with fruits, syrup on my bacon, jelly with my lamb, etc. GROSS.

Any questions? http://www.formspring.me/pimpypants

Scarlett Johansson's butt <3<3<3

That is all.

Herro :3 I am here with update on health.

My doctor said that there was definitely a large mass in my abdomen and had me go get a pelvic ultrasound, which I did on Monday. It turns out that I have a big buncha uterine fibroids. Due to the number and size of them, she recommends that I get a hysterectomy. She's not sure that they'll be able to clean them out of my uterus successfully, but they can try if I want, which I don't.

So I am probably going to have my uterus removed, which is a pretty hardcore surgery, and it will take me several months to recover, which will suck. I'll be able to work from home, but I'm annoyed that I'll be spending my vacation time on something lame like recovering from a surgery. I'm just glad that I have insurance, an understanding employer, and enough vacation time that I can get a surgery without it impacting me financially.

Tuesday of next week, I meet up with a gyno to get a female exam and discuss this diagnosis. He may say that the surgery isn't necessary, but I doubt it. 'Cuz I got big ole' honkin' FIBROIDS, Y'ALL!

Here are the answers to the questions I am getting:

Yes, I know that this is a serious operation.
No, I don't want kids. Never have.
No, I don't want them to "save" my uterus. My uterus has caused me nothing but problems since our relationship began when I was 12. Bye-bye, uterus!

I am planning to have a going-away party for it. We will watch Dead Ringers and eat cake shaped like a uterus. I will give everyone Kinder eggs.

I hope to schedule this for the beginning of June, so hopefully I'll be well enough to attend Comic Con this year. Maybe I can finagle a wheelchair out of it so I don't have to carry anything. That would be awesome.

Or maybe do it after Comic Con. I dunno.

Anyway, that's what's up with me. What's up with you guys? Anyone have any hysterectomy stories to share?

Lump in gut. I have no idea what it is. Appointment with 2nd tier PPO provider Friday, which will be expensive, but my regular HMO doctor is total bollocks. Copay has been upped since last year anyway, but fortunately I'm me and I can afford this shit. I just feel bad for anyone else who can't.

OH YES PROFIT-MOTIVATED HEALTH CARE INDUSTRY IS AWESOME. I love it when some fat fucking blue-suited penguins make money off of my health and well-being.

I can't wait till hospitals start sending babies home wrapped in advertisement-covered blankets and clothing, like Nascar!

Proof you can monetize anything beyond your wildest dreams:


Because toilet paper is archaic and disgusting, and you're too fat to wipe your own ass.

For the most part, I fucking hate kids. In particular, poorly behaved ones. But I'm not mean to the kids, because it's not their fault their parents are indulgent fuckwits who can't discipline their children.

Being attached at the hip to an open mouth for the next 18 years does not appeal to me in the least. I am far too selfish for that shit, and kids need too much attention.

My boyfriend doesn't like kids either. I knew he was the one when I met him and he told me on our first date that he was scheduled to get sterilized in a month.

7 1/2 years later...

( Click for crappy attempt at digital painting and ficlet. )

Sometimes I feel like I'm lame because I don't want to spend every single free moment drunk or high like the rest of my friends. Am I a lameass because I'd rather focus on accomplishing something?

Still, I'd drag that ho into a room and rapeasaurus rex any time. That's how pimpy do.

I am so lame. Seriously, my last post was from Nov. 12? Suuuck.

I got nommed for some stuff for AFFA. I'd better draw some new pr0ns. I CAN'T be nominated for that awful black and white Raph wang drawing two years in a row. That's just... embarrassing XD

I have been totally out of the loop on so many things and stuck in my own personal tar pit of suck. It's been hard for me to get out of it. There was a lot of emotional stuff going on but then I realized that I actually didn't care about some of the people I was trying to be friends with very much. Things are easier now. I fucking hate people.

In other news, school started back up. More Hashibe yellings = good times. I can't wait to slug through another 300 or so Kanji this semester. It will be brutal, like a good cup of coffee.

I am so behind at work that it feels like I'm doing a terrible job. Then my co-workers remind me that there should actually be at least two or three people doing my job and things are okay. Until I get yelled at again.

I'm so fucking sick of apologizing. I'm so sick of it. I do it when I'm at work and then more when I'm at home because I'm so short tempered lately that I act like a bitch to my boyfriend and then I'm embarrassed and apologize. I fucking hate it.

Anyway, I've actually been in a pretty good mood, but this journal doesn't sound like it. Aside from the crazy dental stuff this year, things have been swell.

Ohyeah. I had to have an emergency tooth extraction on my birthday. I made up for it later that day by staying in a decadently tacky hotel room and having some incredibly filthy sex. That was good.

But then I had to have 4 cavities filled a few days later, and they got fucked up, so the dentist had to scrape them out and re-do them. That would have been a lot cooler if he had properly numbed by mouth, but I felt the drilling and the scraping and everything. It was insane. But I steeled myself against it because I'm Irish and my ancestors are tenacious fucks, so I got through it and bought myself some ice cream.

Then last Friday I got a wisdom tooth removed. Compared to the tooth extraction on my birthday, that was a painless walk in the fucking park. And I got Vicodin. I swear, whoever thinks Vicodin is awesome is retarded. It just made me feel nauseous and stupid.

Drugs are dumb.

What are you guys up to?